Italian Man Who Went To Malta

Este textinho contém uma verdade: os problemas com idioma podem tornar-se um incidente internacional.
Imaginem o caso: um italiano viaja para a ilha de Malta e tem problemas. E conta a sua história.
Como deve ser lido: de preferência em voz alta, caprichando no sotaque italiano, que já está acentuado em algumas transcrições.

Mais uma prova também que "CABEÇA VAZIA, LUGAR DO DIABO!" huauhahuauhauhauhauhauha

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Italian Man Who Went To Malta
One day imma gona to Malta to bigga hotel!
In the morning i go down to eat a breakfast
I tell the waitress "- I wanna 2 pisses of toast!"
She brings me only one piss.
I tell her "- I wanna to piss!"
She says "- Go to the toilet!"
I say " You dont understand! I want to piss on my plate!"
She say "- You better no piss on the plate! You son of a bitch!"
I dont even know the lady end she calls me a son of a bitch...
Later, I go to eat at a bigga resturant.
The waitress bring me a spoon and a knife, but no fork!
I tell her "- I wanna the fuck!"
She tellin me "- Everyone wanna fuck!"
I tell her "- You dont understand! I wanna fucka on the table!"
She say "- You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch!"
So i go back to my room in a hotel and there is no sheeats on the bed.
Call the manager and im tellin him "- I wanna shit!"
He tellin me "- Go to the toilet!"
I say "- You dont understand! I wanna shit on my bed!"
He say "- You better not shit on my bed, you son of you bitch!"
I go to the check out and the man in the desk says "- Peace on you!"
I said "- Piss on you too, you son of a bitch! Im goin back to Italia, Arrivederci"

>:-/